1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
