Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
