Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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