My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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