there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
