Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
