We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
