Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?

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(586): View more from Michigan

so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out

(440): View more from Ohio

seek help.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level

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(562): View more from California

We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.

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(256): View more from Alabama

The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔

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