Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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