How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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