How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
