Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
