Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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