Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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