I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
