So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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