I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
