After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
