THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
