just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
