i would punch a child for taco bell
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
