I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
