think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
