I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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