"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
farters have to be the big spoon...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
