He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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