i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
