Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
