Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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