Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
did i walk over a car last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
