the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
