thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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