I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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