he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
