I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
