idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
