the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
