brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My breasts were aching with rage.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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