Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
