do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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