I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
