I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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