Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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