i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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