you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
