I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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