YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
two words: eviction party
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
