i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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