THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
