he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
